There is no rule against a man's legitimate relationship with a woman; and I thought that she was perfect: single, pretty, courageous, and most of all, spiritually inclined; for beauty alone is not enough to fascinate me. I would have approached her and asked for her hands if I was not taught that any attachment stronger than attachment to God is inappropriate. Furthermore,I was at that time a Brahmachari, one who is committed to learning and not on chasing women. Furthermore, indifferent as I am, I do believe that nuns belong to God, and I am a sinful person. I feel that I am unfit to even look at them, what more enjoy their company. My indifference was designed for a reason. It's part of what I am, I have no complain.
Brahmachari (Sanskrit) a student of the Vedas, especially one committed to brahmacharya. I was once a brahmachari.
Student life in a temple is not easy; but at the same time very unique, full of challenges, and mysteriously joyful. Undeniably, it was one of the most unforgettable days of my life. The morning activity starts by waking up at around four o'clock in the morning, take a bath, meditate, and worship the Deity. After that, at around seven, we listen to a taped lecture of our Guru. After the lecture, we do physical exercises that include Hatha Yoga and Taekwondo; then we eat breakfast. Usually, our first daily food intakes were fruits, cereals, milk, sweets, etc.; basically light foodstuffs, which are called Maha-Prasada, a spiritually potent food which is offered first to the Deity and become ''remnants of God''.
The temple scene is centered on spiritual learning. Aside from Spiritual Master’s taped lectures, which we listen to three times a day (morning, noon, and nighttime); We also attend classes of senior disciples about spiritual life and some relevant matters under the sun. The whole purpose is to prepare the student, gear him up, and make him well-equipped to face and to overcome the challenges in the outside world when the student has to leave the protection of the house of worship. Understandably the students, despite their simplicity and submissive outward appearance, are loaded with spiritual understanding and very well conversant about the reality of both the material and spiritual worlds.
It was not an easy decision for me to leave the House of Prayers; but most probably, it was arranged. And not for long, I was back where I came from; with my family, with my line of work, with my music, with the night. My residence is more or less a hundred kilometers away from the temple; and musical nightlife, even without the aid of drugs and intoxicants, is intoxicating. Time passes by fast and unnoticed. Understandably, I seldom set foot on the temple’s floor to see the form of the Lord. However, whenever I have a chance, I will see to it that I visit The House of God to worship and to pay respect.
In one of those visits, after Deity worship, I stayed longer to listen to the lecture of a senior disciple. It was around 8 o’clock in the evening and there were more than ten male students with me sitting half-circled in front of the lecturer to listen. I was the last person sitting at the right end of the line. The lecturer, instead of giving her lecture right away, asks a question to the students, and more or less her question was; “Why are you engaging yourself in spiritual practice?” This is a very basic question that any one of us can surely answer without difficulty. It is in “The Book” Bhagavad Gita 7:16, and there are four answers; all we have to do is choose one, articulate, and explain.
The wise (the seeker of knowledge), the inquisitive, the distressed, and the desirer of wealth; these are the kinds of people that turn to God. The first one to answer was the one sitting at the left end of the line; lucky for me sitting on the right-side end for I have plenty of time to prepare my answer. Was I one of those who are in need of money? Am I one of those who consider God as a super waiter and greatest order supplier? Definitely not, this one is definitely not me, I am not this silly. Am I the distress type? Well, there was a time when I was; but I start worshiping God even long before I was so in distress. Again, this type is not me either. Probably the third choice would be appropriate: inquisitive, am I? Oh
God! I don’t even, in all honesty, can comprehend its true meaning. I am too damn proud to even ask questions, and I always thought that I know all the answers. Moreover, I only read the Scriptures because I found it enjoyable to read. Too bad, I am running out of time and there is only one more answer to choose from, which I know I am not; the wise; I am not much of a fool who'll admit that I'm a true seeker of knowledge either.
Being in this predicament, I turn to God. After paying my obeisance to my Spiritual Master, I ask the All-Knowing God to help me come out with an answer; but to my dismay, he did not answer my prayer. So while all the other students answered elaborately with flying colors and with fanfare; my answer was the exact opposite. It was humiliating but I have to answer, so with all honesty, I humbly said, “I don’t know”. After I answered, the lecturer asked another question; she asked who among us had paid obeisances before answering the question. No one did except me. She said that no wonder why the student’s answers were conceited and arrogant; it is because the students thought that they can do anything without the help of God. The Supreme Being didn’t forsake me after all. Not only He gave me the correct answer; He also taught me and used me to demonstrate the perfect attitude. -by Fallen Angel (Radhamsthami9-4-2011)
